{"title":"Patches | MLFA","description":"\u003cp\u003eTechnical confidence. Questionable results. Shop the Patches collection.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"youre-kraken-me-up-front-side-design-snapback-hat","title":"Your'e Kraken Me Up! - Front \\ Side Design - Snapback Hat","description":"Brace yourself… this hat is kraken up the seven seas of laughter! Featuring the fearless (and slightly confused) Patches the Pirate locked in an epic showdown with a mischievous kraken, this cap is a must-have for anyone who takes their adventures seriously... or not seriously at all. Rock it, laugh at it, and let everyone know: \"You're Kraken Me Up!\" Guaranteed to make landlubbers and sea dogs alike chuckle, gasp, and maybe even walk the plank (voluntarily). Whether you're conquering the couch or setting sail for snacks, this hat’s your ultimate first mate. Warning: excessive compliments and jealous pirate stares may occur.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nYou're going to see more of Patches The Pirate in the future within the MLFA universe! \u003cbr\u003e\nThrowback drawing of Patches now on a hat! \u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 80% acrylic, 20% wool\u003cbr\u003e\n• Green Camo is 60% cotton, 40% polyester\u003cbr\u003e\n• Structured, 6-panel, high-profile\u003cbr\u003e\n• 6 embroidered eyelets\u003cbr\u003e\n• Plastic snap closure\u003cbr\u003e\n• Green undervisor\u003cbr\u003e\n• Head circumference: 21⅝″–23⅝″ (54.9 cm–60 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from Vietnam or Bangladesh\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eC (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eD (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOne size\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20 ⅛-23 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e7 ⅛\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Make Laughter Fun Again","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44300785745964,"sku":"5380699_7840","price":29.73,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/3654\/1228\/files\/classic-snapback-heather-grey-red-front-680ec2f935855.jpg?v=1745797889"},{"product_id":"404-soul-not-found-unisex-t-shirt","title":"404 Soul Not Found - Unisex t-shirt","description":"Some say it was never installed. Others say it was deleted in a tragic software update. All we know is... there’s no soul here—just vibes and WiFi. The “404: Soul Not Found” tee is the official uniform of the emotionally disconnected, spiritually glitched, and over-it-all generation. Whether you're dodging deep conversations, running on caffeine and pure sarcasm, or just buffering through life, this shirt lets the world know your internal hard drive is fried—and honestly, you're fine with that. It’s not that you can’t feel… it’s just that the emotional operating system failed somewhere around the third group text. Cold? Maybe. Iconic? Absolutely.\u003cbr\u003e\nFeel nothing. Look amazing.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz.\/yd.² (142 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e\n• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e\n• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. 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Existentially compromised.\u003cbr\u003e\nIn every chaotic ensemble, there’s one who watches. Calculates. Quietly thumbs-up while the world burns.\u003cbr\u003e\nThat’s Patches. Rendered in moody grayscale on an asphalt canvas, this shirt honors the most methodical member of the MLFA collective — our resident AI-coded sad clown. He doesn’t laugh. He logs. He doesn’t panic. He updates. He gives two thumbs up, not in joy, but in acknowledgment… that entropy is inevitable. This isn’t just a shirt. It’s a wearable shrug. A soft-spoken signal to the universe that yes — you too run on low battery and quiet dread.\u003cbr\u003e\nPerfect for:\u003cbr\u003e\n- Deep thinkers with broken alarm clocks\u003cbr\u003e\n- People who read the manual before destroying it\u003cbr\u003e\n- Fans of AI pirate bots with emotional allergies\u003cbr\u003e\nMinimal. Monochrome. Mechanically melancholy.\u003cbr\u003e\nJust like Patches. Just like you.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz.\/yd.² (142 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e\n• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e\n• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. 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